"Rich, I've got to say something to you. I've thought about this for a long time. I've watched you for weeks. I'm still not sure so if what I say goes against you just let me know."

"Mark, I know what you're going to say. I like-no, I love you also Mark. That's why I think we shouldn't do anything about it."

"Why? What do you mean?"

"Mark, I've never done it. I don't know what it's like. What if it disgusts me and I hate you forever because of it? Wouldn't that be a high price for a few minutes of pleasure? Can't we just love each other and remain good friends?"

"No we can't. Love between us is not the same as between a man and woman. We have to take ours whenever we can get it. Don't you see? We can't wait to get married or keep saying we'll wait for the right moment. The right moment is always now."

He took my hand between his two and squeezed it. "But what if I don't like it? What if nothing happens? What if I don't have any sex at all?"

"Oh come on Rich. No one is that way. Just relax and do what I say." "I don't know"

"Come on Rich. Don't tell me you think it's wrong?"

"No. But sex is an important part of a person's life. He shouldn't just do these things on the spur of the moment. We hardly know each other."

"Rich, we know more about each other than about any other people. Are you scared?"

"Yes. Very scared."

"Will you do it?"

I was quiet. He squeezed my hand and I responded. He pushed the seat back and moved over beside me. I was shaking.

"Relax Rich, it won't hurt." He tilted my head back and kissed me. Our mouths were open and our tongues met. I was burning up and freezing cold at the same time.

That was three years ago. Today I was twenty-one. The seasons have changed twelve times. I have changed thousands of times.

This morning I got a card and letter from Mark, who now lives in New York. It read:

Dear Rich,

Many happy returns of the day. Be good and don't drink too much.

I'm glad to hear your novel was accepted for publication. I'm sure it will become a best seller and be sold to Hollywood for thousands of dollars. You will probably be hailed as the new Hemingway. I guess you were smart to quit college and devote all your time to writing.

I have good news also. I have a part in a play. It's a small part and the play isn't very good, but at least I'm on my way. Maybe the three years of studying and discouragement are beginning to pay off.

Rich, do you think you can come to New York? You have always said all you needed to write was a typewriter and paper. I have to ask you to come. I am lonely. I have been so busy during the past three years I haven't had time to make any close friends. I miss you and I am still shy. You can share my apartment with me. It's big enough for two. Please try to come.

Mark

I called the airport to find out when I could get on a plane to New York. Then I wrote a letter to Mark.

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